Mid - January 2012
I slid into the booth across from Cielo; skin tingling, palms sweating.
There was a moment of bustling and confusion as the waitress came and i ordered a beer...stealing glances at Cielo as she perused the menu. Finally the waitress left and Cielo began to speak:
"so, yeah, um, i just got an email from my mom. she's kinda upset. cuz, you see, my stepdad and i just starting talking again. he was more like my dad that my real dad ever was to me and so we started talking. facebook, you know?"
"uh huh, facebook..."
"and so, she just found out that we were talking...and um she emailed me...and its just a weird thing cuz they aren't really friends ...and she was hurt by him...and so...you know?'
"um...yeah...that sound like a sticky situation."
"yeah for sure...and like he kinda roughed her up and she's still mad. of course she would be...but i don't want to shut him out...he's sorry and ...well ...you know?"
Umm, sure. So, is your mom really mad right now...or...?" I wasn't sure how i wanted to finish the sentence.
"Well, no...i mean yeah...a little but you know....(no, i don't fucking know) she's just a little upset...cuz you see...my step dad just found me on Facebook and messaged me and i had to write back...and she found out..."
at this she repeated the whole story again. For ten minutes she talked about the situation, never quite finishing a sentence, repeating herself and saying "you know".
We still hadn't ordered dinner...i was considering eating my arm or the tablecloth.. I needed to eat and the waitress was nowhere in sight. She came finally: just as Cielo was trying to repeat the story for a third time.
As we we ordered i took the opportunity to change the subject: we talked about work (turns out she was unemployed and not necessarily looking) we talked about living situations (turns out her housemates were moving out, she was looking for a roommate...hint hint) we talked about our cars (turns out she thinks its weird that not everyone can fix their own brakes) i talked about not sleeping very well (turns out she knows all about how to fix that problem: just buy salt rocks! Or was it rock lamps? )
During this conversation i noticed something very disconcerting. She did not look me in the eyes but once the entire time. She look at the table, her glass, her food, her hands. The one time our eyes actually met was amazing. Her eyes were a shade green i have never seen before...i felt like i could see way down deep where her true self was lurking. But then she looked away again, back to her hands. She repeated to herself often and never seemed to actually finish a sentence; as if her mind was moving at a speed faster than her mouth could keep up with.
There was a lull in conversation, a lull i didn't know how to fill. I looked up at the rather distracting T.Vs suspended from the ceiling.
"Oh, wow!" i said, watching Rick Perry forgetting what to say, "I think i may already be tired of all the Presidential Campaign stuff...."
Cielo glanced up,clearly disinterested. "I don't ever watch T.V. anymore."
"Oh, really? That's cool....T.V. really can take up a lot of time that could be used for doing something productive"
"Yeah, I just remember watching the elections like ten years ago. I was listening to the T.V, from another room and heard this noise during one of the campaign commercials. It was like this beeping noise. BEEEP BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEP BEEP BEEP BEEEEP."
I was beginning to feel quite perturbed. This was not going the way i pictured it...not one bit. I closed my eyes for a second as she described that infernal beeping.
"What do you think the beeping was?" i asked, tone flat.
"Subliminal Messaging, man!"
oh dear god
I couldn't help myself, "What do you think the beeping was trying to tell you?"
"Like, vote for this person or go jump off a bridge! I don't fucking know! but its creepy as shit,dude!"
She began talking about how T.Vs where invented by the Pentagon to keep tabs on the public, how people aren't prepared for whats coming and that she would like to go down fighting rather than drive a car off a cliff like Thelma and Louise. She talked about FEMA building concentration camps (there are videos on YouTube about this but I do not understand them.) and how she wished people would just open their eyes to the truth.
At this point i was quite done. Done eating, done drinking, done talking. She still had about a quarter of her giant steak left. I propped my head up in my hands, waiting for her to finish...listening to her relate her version of the Apocalypse.
She finally came up for air, i hoped to finish her steak. (please, sweet baby jesus don't let her order desert)
I took the opportunity to rush off to the restroom. I sat in the stall wondering if i had met the right person. Was this really Cielo...was i being Punk'd? I hung out in the restroom longer than necessary.
I sat back down across from Cielo. The look in her eyes said, "I talked too much about conspiracy theories...must save face!"
She began to speak about herself from my point of view....in a British accent, "I say, this lass is a crazy one! Mad as a hatter i tell you! I really must tell all of my friends about my crazy date with a crazy lady." she kept on in this self-deprecating manner, laughing at herself. It was not funny, however. I wanted to grab her by the shirt, shake her a minute and tell her to stop. I didn't know if i should laugh with her or sit there in silence...i did a bit of both as she continued to make fun of herself.
"well, i come into Denver a lot. so, just hit me up whenever you want. We can get a drink or take the dogs to the park!"
"Ok Cielo, thanks a lot for dinner. I appreciate it! Be safe on your way home."
I took the long way home, heaving a great sigh of disappointment. I felt really dumb for getting my hopes up.
I went home and watched a good two hours of television. I wonder all the beeping was about?
so, a few questions to the public:
1. anyone have a similar experience of getting too excited before a first date only to have it backfire?
2. what would you have done in my place?
3. and...can someone please explain to me the videos about FEMA building concentration camps??
