|Make that Harper and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day|
this is me today....seriously. it is one goddamn thing after another.
Blow after blow...my soul is feeling rather bruised and bloody.
I hate when the tears are so close to spilling over that you have to tilt your head back
looking into the harsh florescent lights
blinking faster than beating hummingbird wings to keep them from tumbling over the edge.
and the people keep calling
the people you work endlessly to help
people whose life are WAY shittier than yours
they keep calling
and you start feeling guilty for feeling so shitty when they are in deeper shit than you
and that makes it worse and the tears come back
one misguided blink and they trip over your eyelashes
slide silently over your cheek.
you wonder if you can attribute tears and red eyes to allergies?
marg from IT walks by as you take another call;
squinting at you
you clear your throat to quell the shake in your voice.
and all you want to do is smoke
but you're trying to quit
quitting sucks ass
smoking is such an expensive habit.
you try retreating to the bathroom
there are woman gabbing about t-ball practice and that bitch in accounting
maybe the break room is empty
there are men talking about march madness and that bitch in accounting
you walk outside
the smokers are outside
back to your desk
all the while watching the clock for quittin' time
then you can go home and cry for real
or eat copious amounts of mac n' cheese
or drink that bottle of bourbon
instead you go home and put on that old, blue cardigan
the one that looks like something dad would have worn in '79
you listen to
Six Days at the Bottom of the Ocean
by Explosions in the Sky
anger, frustration, failure and alienation begin to fade
now you are just cold
your body aches for sun
you search the sky for signs of life
i desperately want someone strong and beautiful to sing me this song tonight...but ray will do in a pinch. :)