BFF's, Burlesque and Boxer Briefs

You know when there is little place in your hear where you BFF resides? And how when you don't get to live near them or see them...that little place aches dully until you get to finally be with the? There is a little place in my hear that has been aching off and on for 10 years. 

When i was seven, hiding behind my mother who was dragging into yet another new classroom, i met MY BFF. She saw me peeking out from behind my mothers polyester pants and offered me her goldfish...we were pretty near inseparable until we graduated from high school. 

After high school we headed our separate ways fulling expecting live near each other. She would marry and start a family and i would bash around the world writing my memoirs. She did get married. I did bash around the world. However, we never lived closer than 500 miles to each other. We talked on the phone...i tried to visit as often as i could....but life has a way of completely fucking with our plans.

For the past three years we have been talking about how great it would be if she could move her family out to denver. Her husband is a firefighter...he could get a job here...right? 

They tried for ages...he flew to denver for interviews time and time again. To no avail. 

Two months ago he was offered a job. This past Friday, for the first time in nearly five years, i saw my BFF. There she was...same forever long hair, same smile...same hands...only now she is a mother of four. A devoted wife and mother, cooking healthy meals and recycling. She saves money by the bucket full coupon-ing and stocking up at costco. She is the mother of an Aspy kid...so loving and patient and kind. She is, in many ways, different than that little girl offering me her goldfish...and yet...she is still exactly the same. We sat up until the wee hours of the morning laughing and talking just like in the old days. Only now our conversations are about grownup things....her child having Asperbergers, me being a raving lesbo...in-laws and finances...car trouble and taxes...politics and religion. 

I woke up in her house Saturday morning...feeling quite parched and wondering where i was (you know how beer and whiskey can muddle things) I pondered us for a moment; completely different completely the same....that achy place in my heart not quite so achy.

so yeah...that was an awesome start to my weekend!

Saturday night turned out to be quite amazing as well...

why you ask?

one word:  BURLESQUE

I have this hilarious friend who calls himself the Irish Jew...he plays the guitar and performs comedy sketches at Lannies Clocktower Cabaret. I finally made it out to catch his act...

I caught so much more than that: i caught Cabaret Fever. I've never seen so many talented (and sexy) young women all in one place. They danced and sang and swung tassels around on their nipples. (HOW DO THEY DO THAT?) There was a gorgeous lady named Midnight Martini who swung herself around on a ring suspended from the ceiling. She accomplished such wild and exciting gymnastic feats that blew my mind and caused me dream about her later. We were each given these horrid little noise makers which i nearly wore out and became quite horse with shouting (the MC asked us to be loud and obnoxious just in case you were wondering). Who needs strip clubs when you've got Cabarets...so much more talent involved and you don't leave feeling sleaze dripping off of you. Not only were the young women amazingly talented, my friend was also quite hysterical...who knew he could impersonate Bob Dylan so well? I wish i had had a video camera!

so, friday night i spent drinking with BFF, saturday night i spent watching lovely ladies throw their clothes off, and Sunday night i found a bunch of boxer briefs on sale. (trunks to be exact) and not just any trunks. American Eagle trunks! I do not know why but i I LOVE American Eagle underwear...especially their boxer briefs. They are snug and comfortable...just the right length and always in my favorite colors. *sigh* Throw in the sale and i was one happy Boi...I am easy to please.

and there you have it folks...the key to a happy weekend...

bff's, burlesque and boxer briefs

happy tuesday

dating blues: giselle #2

I haven't been out of my apartment in almost thirty-hours. Fever, chills and a racking cough have been waging war on my body....it's been a real blast. this morning i decided i couldn't stand another minute in the apartment with the dogs, my roommate and her stationary bike(that thing is loud!),  so i ventured out. i am already exhausted from my three block walk to the local coffee shop...obviously i have not won the war yet. 

but let me not wander too far from my purpose here today:

giselle #2

giselle invited me to her place for dinner a few days after our first date. she couldn't really cook she said, but wanted to me to meet some of her friends (already!?)

i met up with some friends a few days before to discuss our love lives over sweet potato fries and frosty pints of cider. we talked endlessly about our expectations for our upcoming dates. a hug, a kiss, a lay...we each represented various degrees of expectation. at the end of the night we decided on the best way to communicate whether our expectation were realized. (i'm not sure why we could not have just called or texted one another)...but we decided that posting to face book (in code of course) was the best course of action. our code of choice ? "The back of your head is ridiculous", a line from the Mad TV sketch "Can i have your number?" (god, we are an odd bunch!)

A few days before i was to go over to her house, Giselle texted that none of her friends would be able to show...it would be just me and her. how exhilarating ! my excitement increased....i found myself waiting impatiently, again, to see her.

I showed up at her house, seven on the dot, as we had planned. I was feeling a bit disheveled, having come straight from work. She put me at ease, placing a drink in my hand and cooing over the homemade chocolate cookies i had brought (she happened to be IN LOVE with chocolate). She had some chicken marinating and was trying to decide which vegetables to cook. It didn't seem as though she did not know how to cook...but she confessed (in increments) how her roommates had helped her with what to cook, how to cook it and for how long. she was definitely uneasy in the kitchen. She was adorable. I tried to help a little but didn't want to make her feel bad so let her figure it out on her own mostly. Finally, we ate (closer to eight than seven) and this boi was starved. I scarfed her food, which she thought was amazing, and raved about her marinated chicken. We tidied up the kitchen together.

Afterwards, we moved to the living room where we collapsed onto the couch, knees touching. At this point, i began to falter. I was having trouble gauging whether or not she was actually enjoying herself. I was being myself, laughing and telling funny stories...she would respond with "oh my god, stop" or "oh my god, your so funny" but she was also sighing a lot. I interpreted these sighs as boredom. i usually don't have much trouble reading a gals signals...but this evening i was. i shifted closer to her on the couch, she moved closer, then abruptly moved back. i stayed put hoping she mosey back on over....but then her dog would jump in between us...taking up the entire couch...a veritable cock block if you will. (can i say that?) frustration was setting in. i kept wanting to make a move but was thrown off by all of the bored sighs. i was enjoying getting to know her but was not sure if it was mutual.

i began making moves to leave.
she said, "yeah, its getting late. you'd probably better go" BAD SIGN!
she walked me to my car. GOOD SIGN
"i really enjoyed myself tonight" she whispered. GOOD SIGN
"but um...." BAD SIGN
AH! I was so confused!
She was so beautiful standing there in there in the street light. a light wind blowing her perfume all over me....
I was in the process of deciding to make a move despite her conflicting signals...when she took my face in her hands and kissed me. softly, slowly.
ladies and gents, i felt that kiss all the way to my toes.
I moved closer to her, my hands gently pressing her to me. she clasped her arms around my neck, sighing as she relaxed into me...    "now this is what all that sighing was about!" i thought to myself.
it was a simple kiss, not too long not to short...perfect and sweet.
she muttered something about taking it slow, not wanting to rush into anything, not wanting to get hurt.
(yadda yadda, she could have said she believed that elephants perched in trees like the parrots and i wouldn't have cared...i was still caught up in the kiss.)
i agreed with her, of course, it was only the second date after all! I was not about to be the typical dyke and bring my u-haul to the next date...
we said goodnight, as girls do, with a lingering hug and whispered tones...as she turned to go she gave a little scream of excitement and nearly skipped to her door. I drove home with the windows down, music blaring...with a grin i could not wipe away and her taste on my lips.

"the back of your head is ridiculous"