dating blues: dates who look like exes and bois who don't like other bois

so, there i was, two short days after cielo turned out to be insane, ready to go on yet another first date. except, this time, i really did not want to go. The only thing helping me keep the date was curiosity.

well, curiosity killed the cat.

There is a nifty little bar near my house called Jonesy's. good food, good drinks, good service. When you first arrive, you actually enter a very small foyer of sorts, closed off my thick, floor length curtains. I am not entirely sure why they are there, but they gave me a chance to survey the room without being seen. I scanned the bar looking for a gal with mid length, brownish hair. Instead, at the end of the bar talking on her phone, i saw....  MY EX?!?!?! (the very ex that inspired this blog. see: dating blues: the beginning) what the fuck? i was immediately sick to my stomach and feeling quite faint. What the hell was she doing here...and where was my date? How was i going to slip past the ex and find Aussie? I peeked out from behind the curtains, studying  the back of my exes head.

"Wait a sec..." i told myself, "That's not the ex...!" I slipped out from behind the mauve curtains to get a closer look without seeming suspicious. From a different vantage point, i realized (with great relief) that the girl was not the ex...oh thank you god!

"Geeze, that could totally be her twin...i wonder if she knows she has a doppelganger running around out there?"

 But where the hell was this Aussie gal...?

There was no one else in the bar that could possibly be my date...two dudes and an ancient blue hair? I think not... i slid a little closer to the bar hoping the ex look-a-like was not my date. well, she was. she looked nothing like her profile pic...with short, ginger hair. You would think she could have updated that photo!

I moved into her line of sight as she got off the phone....we made the usual "pleased to make your acquaintance" pleasantries while i slipped onto a bar stool and ordered a beer. We talked fairly easily, nothing too interesting but not all that exhilarating either. To be quite honest, the rest of the evening was not that bad....but not really all that memorable. We had similarly religious backgrounds, she thought my hair cut was VERY GAY(whatever that means), and she said she spent most of her time in coffee shops and pubs writing her crime novel. She bitched a little bit about being bored...and i thought, "at least you have the means to actually take all that time off!!! You could do whatever you wanted!" The conversation waned a bit here and there...until i thought of something else silly to say. She asked very few questions, leaving it up to me to carry the convo. It was getting close to nine o'clock when she spotted something  on the TV hanging over the bar. It was some sort of celebrity trash and bash show and she talked endlessly about how stupid it was but couldn't seem to stop watching it. Then, to my horror, The Jersey Shore came on.

she exclaimed, "oh my... I've never actually seen this show. It seems really stupid."
"count your blessings," i said dryly, "i had this girlfriend who watched it religiously. I hope to god i never see another episode."

apparently, whatever i said that night, the opposite happened. There she sat, eyes fixed on the screen.... quick bursts of laughter choking out of her followed by, "oh my god, are these people for real?"

" i think that's why it's called Reality TV."

and so, for the next forty five mins she sat and watched and commented on the excessive amount of tanning.

I was beginning to feel pretty knackered and slightly grumpy...i finished off my beer and started making moves to leave...she finally tore herself from the TV screen and we walked outside.

"Well, that was fun. really nice meeting you. I'll see you around!"  she walked to her car....i walked home.

Not the worst date, not the best....unmemorable at the most. and now that i've typed that it sounds jackass-ish....but i really cant stand The Jersey Shore! i'm an ass right?

Two days later i found myself heading out to YET ANOTHER FIRST DATE. This time slightly more interested than the last bust still not exactly jumping for joy. This time it was with "hip", the bike-riding chef. I met her at an small coffee shop where the coffee was literally AMAZING. I could tell she was automatically surprised by my appearance.I'm not sure why since i had the exact same haircut as in all my online photos, i was wearing similar clothing and was even wearing my glasses. But, then again i was surprised by hers as well...she looked exactly the same as she did in her photos too though. I think what was surprising is how similar we were. If "boi" could have an exact picture image we would be it. I think we both assumed one of us would be the more feminine...instead we matched each other: faux hawk for faux, american eagle boxer briefs for american eagle boxer briefs. She seemed either really nervous about it or slightly put off...i couldn't tell which. We had a lot in common though, including the love of literature, creative writing, tattoos and stout beer. We had both not owned cars at some point in our adult lives, deciding to bike or take public transit instead,  and talked about the need to work outside...gardening, ect. We sat there for about two and a half hours drinking enough java to kill a large elephant. Finally, she suggested we walk down to Tattered Cover (an awesome locally owned book store) to peruse our favorite authors. We walked in the crisp air, stopping at a couple of curiosity shops, talking about Ethiopian food and gullible women.

Once at Tattered Cover, it seemed that either she was unable to cope with the fact that we shared very few of the same favorite authors or she was just getting bored. We tooled around the store for another half hour before she just sort of walked out... i followed her out hoping she perhaps wanted to sit outside for a moment. Instead, she suggested we go back to pick up her bike and walk me to my car.

 "oh, well, i guess we're done here." i thought to myself. We walked back, no meandering this time, and soon i was being dropped off at my car. I suggested we grab a beer sometime seeing as how we both enjoyed a good stout. She agreed and off she rode on her bike.

I found her perplexing but was intrigued. A few days later i texted her. "I really enjoyed meeting you the other day. I would love to grab that beer with you soon, ect ect"

her reply, "enjoyed meeting you too. keep in touch"

keep in touch? what the hell...? thats what you say to relatives who move away or business associates you don't really need anymore....

I have a no idea what she actually meant by it...but i took it to mean, "Im not really interested in seeing you again but am to polite to actually say so. have a nice life"

After these two rather unsuccessful dates I found myself, in a rash of annoyance, deleting my online dating profile. As soon as I did, i felt a wave of relief. I have been online dating free for a few months now...its really quite lovely.

However, the past month has been rather lonesome. Instead of filling that with dating, i decided to take a larger interest in my community and signed up to volunteer at the local GLBT center. I also joined a Lesbian Book club...a bit odd...but am looking forward to at least getting free coffee and pastries at the meetings ha! I have been more active: hiking with the pooch, working out (this body really does need whipping into shape) and i bought a bike. I even got a library card with which i checked out five books from famous 1920s authors.

I hear that if you stop looking, the right gal will just fall into your lap....

i guess we shall see